High Conflict Divorce and Family Law in Colorado Springs

Some research suggests that 30% of U.S. divorces can be considered “high conflict”. In Colorado, mediation often occurs before Parties take their case into a courtroom in the hopes that the Parties can reach an out of court agreement. Mediation can be a helpful technique for high-conflict cases because the mediator is objective and neutral and does not represent either Party’s position.

High conflict divorces are emotionally based and occur between people who repeatedly engage in behavior that increases conflict. The conflict is not necessarily related to the parties themselves; but could even be fostered by attorneys who take an aggressive approach. This is one reason why finding the right attorney for your situation is important. Some potential clients look for attorneys who they describe as “pitbulls” in the hopes that the attorney will attempt to manipulate the other Party and pursue an unfair result.

High conflict instigators tend to be self-focused, determined to “win” - whatever that means to them, difficult and dishonest. They may file frivolous court actions to create chaos. They require power and control in all matters. They may intentionally cause unnecessary delay, provide false information, fail to respond to negotiation attempts, make accusations and generally have a great desire to “sling [legal] mud” at the other Party. They may send threatening e-mails attempting to evoke an irrational reaction from the other Party. It is not uncommon for them to attempt to test the court system’s limits. In court proceedings, the higher the conflict, the higher the cost.

There may be one or two high-conflict partners among the couple. It is not unusual that domestic violence is an aspect of high-conflict relationships. False accusations of domestic violence may also occur as an attempt to manipulate a court into drawing a negative inference about a person. It is important to remain as objective as possible for the best legal outcome and all clients should learn about the law that applies to the dissolution. After all, the Court will not become involved in the emotional aspect of a proceeding, but will focus on the law.

A divorce coach may be helpful for someone going through a high-conflict divorce. A coach supplements the legal skills of the attorney and can focus more on the emotional aspects of divorce. Divorce coaching is a process designed to support and guide people through the nonlegal aspects of divorce. Coaches can help manage high-conflict behavior. Also, a coach can help a client emotionally separate from the other party and become more independent in the process.

Those preparing for a high conflict divorce should ensure that they educate themselves as much as possible on the couple’s finances so that they are not left in the dark by a partner who may have previously unilaterally controlled the family finances. It is important to have access to: