Routines may sound boring, but they can be useful in the divorce realm where chaos, uncertainty, and discord resides. You’re trying to navigate through financials, parenting plans, and who gets what. If you have a contested divorce, both parties are arguing back and forth, and no one can seem to agree on anything. Even after the divorce, life is turned upside down because living situations have changed as well financial status. Plus you’re battling the emotions that go along with all this madness.
I understand and I’ve been there. I felt I had no control over anything, and life was just dumping on me. I needed an escape, and I needed something. I refused to have that something be in the form of alcohol or cigarettes or any drugs: prescription, recreational or illegal. I didn’t want any of those in my life. It’s too expensive, not healthy, the side effects are a nightmare, and it could lead to making things worse than they already are. In my previous articles, you may have read that I had turned to food as my refuge and my solace. But even that I’ve been tempering because of how expensive it is to have a food addiction!
So that’s when I turned to creating a routine for myself because it doesn’t cost anything, it’s comforting and it does wonders for the soul. Doing the same thing or nearly the same thing every day was the only part in my life I felt I could control while everything else went awry. In the morning, I would head to work, then hit the gym afterwards (most of the time), get home, have dinner (which I prepped on Sunday), clean up, get ready for bed, then retire to my room for the night to text a few friends, read, then it’s lights out. I do it all again the following day, so on and so forth. The weekends are a slightly different. I follow a looser, more relaxed schedule, but I’ll try to maintain a routine to keep the momentum going. Knowing I have control over these areas of my day to day living gave me a sense of empowerment, thus creating a zen-like and nearly stress free environment.
I don’t watch TV because there’s really nothing good on these days in my opinion. However, I do own DVD’s of my favorite shows and movies. You cannot believe how many times I’ve watched, ‘King of Queens,’ ‘Ghostbusters,’ and ‘The Devil Wears Prada.’ There is a meme on social media about why we watch certain shows and movies over and over again. Because doing so is comforting. We know the outcome at the end, and we find that very relaxing and satisfying. That makes more sense than anything in the world these days. The one caveat I have for myself is if my routine is shaken up by extenuating circumstances. This could be events such as doctor appointments, my car needing to go to the mechanic, travel out of town, last minute changes in my every other weekend with my son. I won’t panic or lose my mind. My motto is stop, reassess, readjust, then continue on. Ever hear the statement, ‘if life throws you a curveball, just call out ‘plot twist!’? I’m a writer and reader, so that certainly appeals to me, and it works. I often find myself chuckling a bit when I do remember to say that.
Like everything else, learning new techniques and implementing them into your own life does take practice, perseverance and time. We should never expect ourselves to be pros overnight at the methods we come up with to make our divorce journey a little easier and bearable. There will be setbacks, there will be plot twists, but always know you can go right back to your routine the next day, next hour, or next week. Regardless, your routine will always be there for you.
If you are needing a caring and compassionate Colorado Springs divorce lawyer to assist you with your family law matter who understands the emotional aspects of divorce, please feel free to contact us for a free consultation about Colorado Springs divorce, child custody and family law at 719-344-5523.